Friday, November 14, 2008

Kami yang kini terbaring antara Karawang-Bekasi, Tidak bisa teriak "Merdeka" dan angkat senjata lagi

Roaming ada kak, masa aja nggak ada.
Gwe di Bekasi, Jakarta. Capek dehhh~ Tempoh hari dari 6th to 9th I was in Brunei.
Waduh, kepala pusing. I've been really disoriented since the start of the program. At first I thought it's only me, but as I start to talk to people on board on a more personal level, I've observed that everybody seems to have the same syndrome. We barely remember dates and what day it is and what they did or who they met or where they went or who they were with the previous day.
They may call me blur, kamjat, lampi, sengal but I can still that see everyone is actually going through the same thing. It's just that they pretend to know when they don't.
Peace is hard to find onboard, with 300++ other people running around, space and time constricted. I find myself dreading for company yet dreading for time alone at the same time. But sitting on the 5th floor deck, just behind Dolphin Lounge, smoking alone while I stare at the vastness of the sea behind the ship, my brain manages to function again. And I remember what it feels like to be normal and in closer grounds to familiarity. But the peace goes away immediately when you see step inside. It's almost like there's a spell that pulls you into a lost and confused state when you're inside.
And I'm not being cryptic. Really. Cos if you don't understand, it's because my head is still in that state. The disorientation is apparent eh? There are days I miss people at home so much, for the familiarity, but there are days I just want the captain's life. I understand now, how this is not a small feat, how it feels like to be Superman. To be just a nobody back home, but to be treated with such grandeur in all these other countries. I realize, how a person can never be exactly the same after this.
Kawan-kawan, I would like to say sorry in advance, I underestimated how hectic and occupied my time would be, so I would like to apologize in advance for promises unkept. If you could understand how difficult this kind of thing for a person so unorganized and unprepared like me, you won't take it personally.
I do miss all of yous, bloggers and friends. I wish things would still fall into place the way I wish it would when I come back, but there's a nagging feeling that tells me that somehow, that won't happen.
Gotta go now. Tomorrow will be a long day and Bangkok is up next.
Ahhhh, gotta run. Going to neighbor's house for BBQ. Wheeheee.

Blogger template 'PurpleRush' by 2008